this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
