Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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