so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
