god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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