my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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