i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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