This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
3 2 1 whiskey
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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