"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
