Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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