super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
