I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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