The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
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