covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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