that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
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EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
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I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?