I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt