Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.