worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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