Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
