Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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