Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
