that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
