i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
