Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
