Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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