i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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