Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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