They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Randomize
