i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
