he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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