I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
