im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize