Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
