Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
