I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
