I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize