let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
