I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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