I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
