is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
