forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think I won the penis lottery.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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