I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
