She's like a pop up book from hell.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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