Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
