yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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