I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
operation have a gay friend backfired
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We need a shit load of segways right now
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
