it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
