I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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