You work out of a Hotel?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
