he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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