Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
