just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
