chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
