I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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