clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
