wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My underwear smells like fireworks.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
