You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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