HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Little spoons don't ask big questions
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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