i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
if only i could text you this smell
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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