Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
