I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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