pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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