I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
