i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
