Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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