Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
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Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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