Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
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I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
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I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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