Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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