and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
